Thursday, May 17, 2018

A fad long past its time: "Natural Wine":

Thanks to Nick for sending me this article about high-priced "natural wine:"

Ugh. I hate this fad. This is a peculiar form of insanity that needs to be stamped out yesterday. My thoughts:

1. Native yeasts? OK. But risky, as some produce off flavors. Why not use a cultured yeast you know will work? That said, some winemakers believe that all their past yeasts lurk on the winery walls, waiting to detach and waft into the juice when they sense sugar. Maybe so. But in that case, it's not necessarily wild yeast--it could be a blend of all past years' cultured yeasts used.
2. Not adding sulfite to protect the wine: Insanely stupid idea. Causes the wine to spoil, rot, fester, and ruin.
3. Biodynamic: Biggest hoax in the history of the world. The idiot who created the concept knew nothing of growing plants, and just invented stuff that was sort of like his philosophy re how to live, without having ANY underrstanding of what plants need to thrive. (Rudolph Steiner)
4. Cloudy, smelly, sour wine? WTF? Really? With an expensive dinner? Wow. 
5. Pesticides and fungicides and herbicides ruining vineyards and workers health, everywhere? You bet! But my modern varieties need no spray, and nobody gets sick.
6. Fads for the sake of fads, in the instance of something so serious as good wine, disgust me. 

Guess you can tell where I stand ;)

Just because it was done one way, a millenium ago, is NO REASON to keep doing it that way today. 2000 years ago, nobody understood the germ theory, or various forms of microbial spoilage or complex chemical interactions. Most of the wines of 2000 years ago were sick, spoiled, insipid, dangerous, sour, retching, and injurious. People drank them because (a) they knew drinking the local water (in most locations) could make them sick; (b) they liked the effect that alcohol had upon them; and (c) they didn't have any better choices.

If you want to pay for a glass of cloudy, spoiled wine, have at it! I'll be the one laughing at you.

This photo of Agia Galini Beach is courtesy of TripAdvisor

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